STITCHED UP

Stitched up by Rick Haynes

Day 1

"Listen, I know the doctor said I should get some sun on my legs, Debs, but your idea is crazy. Any way you look; these multi-coloured shorts you made make me look ridiculous." "Stop moaning luv, it's a nice flash of colour for the summer.” “I like moaning; it takes my mind off things.” “You'll thank me when you feel better. With all the fresh vitamin D from the sunshine today it will really help you." “Yeah! Right! Remember, you also made me eat, salmon, sardines, and mackerel paste, and I hate fish.” “It’s for your own good, hubby.” "Really? “Big kiss, Danny, and now I’m off to see my poorly sister. See you tomorrow.” “Bye.”

Day 2

“Hi, honey, I’m home.” “Hi, Debs.” “What’s wrong with you, grumpy chops?” “Have you seen my face?” "Of course, I told you the rays would do you good." “You haven’t seen the worst of it. I lay in the garden yesterday, on the sunbed, as you suggested, and turned over regularly, as you suggested." “I get this feeling you didn’t smother yourself with suntan cream, Danny. Did you?” “It’s bloody difficult to put suntan lotion over certain parts of my body; you usually do that for me?” “Oh dear, my poor little orphan of a storm. Show me where it hurts.” “All over.” “Well, I can see blisters on your back and on your legs. Anywhere else you need treatment?” "Take a look at this, Debs. With your crochet stitches on my rainbow shorts so far apart, you can see a lovely mottled effect all over my sore arse, let alone the red raw spots on my balls." “And you went naked? Oh dear. But did you know you had an audience yesterday?” “What? Who?” “Mrs Jones from next door stopped me as I walked up the front path. She said she really enjoyed the view from her bedroom window yesterday and wondered if you were starting a nudist club as she’d love to join you.”